


The Boy Who Filled The Silence

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Coping, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Simon Lewis, Mention of Blood Drinking, Simon Lewis-centric, Vampire Simon Lewis, Vampire Turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: Simon has always been the one to fill the silence. This doesn't change when he becomes a Vampire. Only the reason why he talks as much as he does changes and it hurts that no-one, not even Clary, cares about this change.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Simon Lewis
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46
Collections: Hunter's Moon 500 Prompts





	The Boy Who Filled The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the HM 500 prompts: quiet

Simon had always been the boy who filled the silence. He had always been the boy who was a bit too nerdy to hang with the cool kids but not nerdy enough to be accepted with the real nerds. So he had talked and had made jokes to be half a part of both groups. Even with his own band he had held the role of the entertainer to keep everything together, to keep the show running. Entertainers just weren't the quiet ones.

Girls never had looked at him twice, except when from time to time they had actually laughed about one of his jokes. Mostly they hadn't, but he had never quit hoping. And, of course there had been Clary. His best friend from childhood on, who he thought to love in all the wrong ways. But she had never been the type of girl you could be quiet with, always demanding attention and reassurance that he belonged to her.

So Simon had talked, too much, too random, too awkward. But there had always been a lightness about it. He had liked to talk. Probably had liked it a little too much. 

Maybe this was the reason why nobody noticed that he’d changed. Of course not Alec or Jace, but also Izzy hadn't noticed anything. Raphael would rather die for the second time than deal with emotions. That was okay, honestly, they didn't know him that well. But Clary did. Or rather should. But she was too busy to pretend to not love Jace but him to notice anything. 

To notice that he was not the boy who filled the silence anymore because he wanted, but because he needed to do so. Because silence reminded him of dying. It reminded him of the feeling when his brain had understood that this was it. Of the moment when his heart had beaten for the final time. Of the pain that came with dying but even more of the fear of what was to come next. 

Silence reminded Simon of his awakening. Alone, in a casket, beneath tons of dirt and mud. No-one knew how loud the silence had been when he had woken up with an urge in him that still frightened him. The urge to kill. To suck the precious red blood out of his victim's throat until nothing was left that kept the other alive. 

No-one knew how it had felt like to claw his way out of the casket and later the layers of dirt with his bare hands. How loud the silence had been. How terrifying. How deadly. No-one knew but what hurt more was that no-one cared. No-one wanted to know. Neither his friends nor his sire and especially not Clary for whom he had died. As nobody cared, Simon just carried on being the boy who would never shut up. Not because he wanted to be that boy anymore, but because he had to. To not hear the silence of his grave ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are loved 💙


End file.
